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Book 9 of 52: The Threesome Handbook: A Practical Guide to Sleeping with Three by Vicki Vantoch

"Oh, no you didn't!"

Oh yes I did review a book about threesomes.

Before you check "perv" on your "opinion of Jen A. Miller card," let me ask you this: if someone sent you a free book about threesomes, wouldn't you be tempted to take a peek? I'm not saying you would read the entire thing. I wouldn't have if I didn't have this book-a-week project, but I figured, what the heck. Maybe I'll learn something.

I did. I learned a lot of things, like the proper way to stick your finger up someone's bum, a new meaning for "club sandwich" and that a lot more people are getting it on triad style than I thought. After all, Vantoch's book isn't the only one out there about threesomes. Click on the amazon link for The Threesome Handbook: A Practical Guide to SLEEPING WITH THREE and you'll also be directed to Threesome: How to Fulfill Your Favorite Fantasy by Lori Gammon and Bill Strong; Threeways: Fulfill Your Ultimate Fantasy by Diana Cage; Three: The Art of the Menage a Trois by Sadie Johnson -- among others.

If you've clicked on those links (and you know you want to), you'll notice something in common about all three covers: they feature two girl and one guy (though if you're looking for instruction on handling a two guys/one girl trio, never fear -- Vantoch covers that as well). There's this new acceptability of girls making out with girls for the sake of guys. Was I the only chick who didn't make out with girls in college as a sorority stunt? Because Vantoch says it's popular and that most girls at least fool around with other girls in college, usually with a guy watching. I can't even tell you the number of times a guy has suggested that I kiss my friend, or told me that if I ever flipped to the lesbian side, that I need to film it and send it to him (I mean, really. If I were to discover I was a lesbian, do you think my first thought would be "Wow, I really need to get this on tape so I can send it to a straight male?")

Why's it acceptable? Who knows. You've got just-about-naked chicks on the cover of 70 percent of men's magazines. It might have more to do with the fact that "porn" isn't such a dirty word anymore, and a lot of porn involves girl-on-girl-action. Porn stars are working their way into the mainstream, and a lot of people think it's okay. Well, at least some people do. The Christian right would probably explode first before saying Jenna Jameson's a pretty lady -- or was before she lost all that weight and turned into a skeleton.

But don't think I'm a prude I reviewed a porno and a sex manual for my college paper. I've written about sex. I've had sex (sorry mom and dad if you're reading). But trio? Call me old fashioned, but I think I'd have issues with the emotional baggage involved, no matter how many times Vantoch writes that you can get over that. I have enough trouble forming a duo as it is. So reading The Threesome Handbookwas more a sociological study for me than something I studied and highlighted.

If you're digging the trio vibe, then by all means, go ahead and pick up the book. Vantoch covers all the bases, from how to get over the "this is wrong" hump to trio-rific positions to how to pick up a third to how to form a long lasting three way bond. She gives buckets of tips on communication and how to make sure no one freaks out after the experience. I admit that it started to get boring at the end where she went into the specifics of forming a long lasting threesome bond. I won't be trying it, so it's not interesting to me. But I imagine that it's crucial information to people who want to go the three way route.

I like what Cindy Lu, author of The Four Man Plan (also book 2 of 52) says about the subject: the only way to do it is as an the invited guest. I think relationships are complicated enough. But adding a third? I can't even fathom how you'd do Christmas gifts let alone everything else.

One other thing about The Threesome Handbook. I carry a book with me just about everywhere I go. I read on trains; in line; in waiting rooms. I even read Harry Potter in my car while waiting for a wedding to start. I did not carry The Threesome Handbook with me, and I felt like I was missing something, almost like I forgot to wear socks. I did bring it with me to Cape May (read about that here), but triple checked that it was in my bag at all times. Threesomes maybe be considered a-okay in a lot of circles, but I don't think a B&B owner would be too jazzed about inviting three way love into one of their guest rooms.

Comments

Sue said…
So what made you pick this one up, Jen?

The whole girl-girl thing is lost on me, but word has it, it was big among high school girls the past few years. They wanted to experiment with sex but didn't want to risk getting pregnant. Weird.
Jen A. Miller said…
Ha ha. I figured it would be an interesting addition to the project. I'm trying to read a lot of books I wouldn't normally read. I think this one counts!
Anonymous said…
One thing that makes this book more interesting is that she is married to TV-star Misha Collins.

Makes you think more than once about what is going on in their bedroom!

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