On deciding not to read a book

December 23, 2009 / Jen Miller / /

I got a galley of Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough in the mail yesterday. It’s the book spawned by a controversial Atlantic piece about the same topic, where author Lori Gottlieb implores women to just marry some schlub already. I didn’t like the article, and I didn’t think I’d like to book. I gave it a try, though. After chapter one, I put it down. Here’s why: The marketing blurb on the book says, “In the March 2008 issue of the Atlantic, Gottlieb argued that women need to stop waiting for ‘Mr. Right’ and start settling for ‘Mr. Real.'” 


Ooo boy. Then, in the prologue, Gottlieb lists the “must have” qualities she wanted in a man when she was younger. It’s over two pages long.  I made a list of my own, and it had one thing on it: “Not an addict.”



If someone has a two-page list of demands, then I’ll go out on a limb and say being single is their own fault. Maybe the book will speak to them. But it will not speak to me because it is not written for someone like me who will go out with just about anyone, is not marriage obsessed, and feels comfortable in her own single skin.


So. I’m not going to ruin my Christmas by reading the book solely for the sake of getting angry at the author Sorry, folks. To to the library it goes. If you’re in Collingswood and want to read a copy, I’ll have dropped it of by New Year’s.

P.S. I don’t know why the spacing is wonky on this post. Hopefully the type ship will right itself in the next one.

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Jen Miller

Jen Miller

Jen A. Miller is a an author and freelance writer. Her memoir, Running a Love Story, was a Philadelphia Inquirer best book of the year. Her work has appeared in the New York Times, Washington Post, SELF, Buzzfeed and the Guardian, among others.

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